The race is long, but in the end, it's only with yourself

Yesterday was a GREAT day!

I got to present a case on acute exacerbation of heart failure. It was a good learning opportunity academically.

My patient was a really sweet, medical student friendly lady. Aged with grace. After elaborating on her pain when I asked her to, she said, "Did that help? Did I describe it right for you?" :)

Once my history and physical examination was done, I started completing my note. My resident who was typing beside me said - "Your note was too short yesterday. H&P is supposed to be long, containing tiny and irrelevant details."

(My resident is super cool. He is sarcastic and funny. He also gives one sentence feedback like this one.) 

So I wrote a loooong history. Included EVERYTHING I knew about her.

When I presented the case to the attending, he was impressed. He said, "That was good. That's how you present a case. You described all the relevant information."
My attending never gives me feedback. He gave a positive response and it made my day! I was smiling all day long.
(Thank you for that mini tip, bee-boop resident!)

When I went for follow up today, my patient complimented me by saying that I look better with my hair down. (So nice of her! <3 )
She was very co-operative during physical examination. When my attending told her that her extremities are cold, she said she has a warm heart. So funny.
She is so poise and elegant, I absolutely adore her. A beautiful lady indeed. I am glad people like her exist.

Lately, I have been getting down by comparing myself with everyone else. But no more.

You see, people get lucky. Some win the lottery.

When you are working on the path to residency in the US, you will meet many people who are winning the lottery. All the time. Some get great electives in the field that they desire and you might have to settle for a field you aren't enthusiastic about. Others get attendings that write great LoRs and you might not even get an attending. Some people will get rare cases that allow them to publish case reports in high tier journals. Some will recieve a greeting card by the end of the rotation that says - "Can't wait to work with you next year during residency!" from the team. 

They maybe lucky and they are definitely good students. It doesn't mean that you are unlucky or not good enough. They are not you. You've got your own story to write. You've got to celebrate your little moments. You've got to be happy in your world and sleep peacefully at night.

So this is a reminder to myself from Wear Sunscreen: “Don't waste your time on jealousy (In my case, overwhelming anxiety). Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself”.